This Is Their Story
Train 112, Car 1079
Eli Saslow (thanks, Mara): He heard the familiar whine of a Metro train approaching the platform, and Tom Baker decided to run for it. The next train was scheduled to arrive at Takoma Station in two minutes, another in six minutes and yet another in 10. But it was the first Monday of summer, and Baker had left work early with a weightlifting routine to complete and an overgrown garden to tend. A doctor at Walter Reed with an emergency pager affixed to his waist, Baker had learned to schedule and protect every minute of his free time. This was his train.
Posted by
ben on 06/29/09 at
13:38
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Re: This Is Their Story
This was incredibly well done. Extraordinary detail, beautiful structure. I especially liked the opening setting up one passenger's race to get on the ill-fated train, then his decision to move toward the back of the car. As he walks toward the back, he passes the other passengers who will be the key characters in the drama. Ingenious. Reminded me of David Maraniss' narrative retellings of 9/11 and the Virginia Tech shooting. I can't think of any other paper that does these so quickly and so well.
Posted by:
Mark Johnson
at June 29,2009 16:31
Re: This Is Their Story
Wow. It's so hard in stories like this to manage the characters without losing the reader. What's interesting here is that we start the story following a different character than we're with at the end. I wouldn't have done it that way myself. I would have been tempted to zoom in more and use fewer names. But this story works extraordinarily well. It's beautifully understated, and it really got to me there at the end.
Posted by:
Tom Lake
at June 29,2009 17:18
Re: This Is Their Story
I disagree about using fewer characters, I thought it was perfect. It gave us enough names to picture the diversity and the lives on the train that are affected, but we only get to know a few of them really well, so we aren't bogged down with too many details.
And I liked the end and the suspense, written in a way that made the reader really root for her and then lets us down gently as we're told indirectly that she didn't make it.
Posted by:
Raja
at June 30,2009 01:14
Re: This Is Their Story
I thought it was fantastic, so compelling. As a local, I remembered LaVonda had died from earlier coverage, but hearing about her dying moments was still riveting.
One minor quibble -- I thought the architect didn't add much. The doctor, the guy who broke the window and of course, the chaplain, were all I needed.
I made a scientist friend read it, and he said it started too slow (!) Can't please 'em all. But lots of comments on line said it moved them to tears.
Posted by:
Mara
at June 30,2009 01:19
None
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